The Best of the Worst Country-Western Song Titles

Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through the Goalposts of Life

Get Your Biscuits in the Oven and Your Buns in the Bed

Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye

Her Teeth Were Stained, but Her Heart Was Pure

How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

I Been Roped and Thrown by Jesus in the Holy Ghost Corral

I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life

I Don't Know Whether to Kill Myself or Go Bowling

I Fell in a Pile of You and Got Love All Over Me

I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You

I Wanna Whip Your Cow

I Would Have Wrote You a Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck

I Wouldn't Take Her To a Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win

I'd Rather Have a Bottle in Front of Me Than a Frontal Lobotomy

I've Got the Hungries for Your Love and I'm Waiting in Your Welfare Line

If I Can't Be Number One In Your LIfe, Then Number Two on You

If Love Were Oil, I'd Be a Quart Low

If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All on You

Mama Get the Hammer (There's a Fly on Papa's Head)

She Got the Ring and I Got the Finger

Thank God and Greyhound She's Gone

Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart

You Can't Have Your Kate and Edith Too

You Done Tore Out My Heart and Stomped That Sucker Flat

You're the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

I Spent My Last Ten Dollars on Birth Control and Beer

Ya'll come back now, ya here...