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5th RUNNER-UP:
Goes to a San Anselmo, California man who died when he hit a lift tower
support pole at the Mammoth Mountain ski area while riding down the
slope on a foam pad.
The 22-year old David Hubal was pronounced dead at Central Mammoth
Hospital. The accident occurred about 3 a.m., the Mono County Sheriff's
department said. Hubal and his friends apparently had hiked up a ski run
called Stump Alley and undid some yellow foam protectors from lift tower
pedestals.
Lt. Mike Donnelly of the Mammoth Lakes Police Department said the pads
are used to protect skiers who might hit tower poles. The group
apparently used the pads to slide down the ski slope. Hubal had crashed
into a tower support pole. It has since been investigated and determined
the tower pole he hit was the one from which they had removed a pad.
4th RUNNER-UP:
Goes to Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being disorderly in a St. Louis
market. When the clerk threatened to call the police, Puelo grabbed a
hot dog, shoved it into his mouth and walked out without paying.
Police found him unconscious in front of the store. Paramedics removed
the six-inch wiener from his throat where it had stuck and choked him to
death.
3rd RUNNER-UP:
Goes to poacher Marino Malerba of Spain, who shot a stag standing above
him on an overhanging rock and was killed instantly when it fell on him.
2nd RUNNER-UP:
"Man loses face at party." A man at a West Virginia party (probably
related to the winner last year, a man in Arkansas who, as you may
recall, used the .22 bullet to replace a fuse in his pickup truck),
popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit down, Jerry Stromyer, 24,
of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a prank during the party late
Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D. Payne.
Payne said "What happened was that another man had the blasting cap in
an aquarium hooked to a battery and was trying to detonate it. It
wouldn't go off and this other guy said, "I'll show you how to set it
off."
He put it into his mouth, bit down and it blew all his teeth out along
with his lips tongue, Payne said. Stromyer was listed in guarded
condition Wednesday with extensive facial injuries, according to a
spokesperson at Charleston Area Medical Division. "I just can't imagine
anyone doing something like that," Payne said.
1st RUNNER-UP:
Doctors at Portland University Hospital said an Oregon man shot through
the skull by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive and will be released
soon from the hospital. Tony Roberts, 25, lost his right eye last
weekend during an initiation into a men's rafting club, Mountain Men
Anonymous (probably known now as Stupid Mountain Men Anonymous) in
Grants Pass, Oregon.
A friend tried to shoot a beer can off his head, but the arrow entered
Robert's right eye. Doctors said that had the arrow gone 1 millimeter to
the left, a major blood vessel would have been cut and Roberts would
have died instantly.
Neurosurgeon Doctor Johnny Delashaw at the
University Hospital in Portland said the arrow went through 8 to 10
inches of brain with the tip protruding at the rear of his skull, yet
somehow managed to miss all major blood vessels. Delashaw also said that
had Roberts tried to pull the arrow out on his own he surely would have
killed himself.
Roberts admitted afterwards that he and his friends had been drinking
that afternoon. Said Roberts, "I feel so dumb about this." No charges
have been filed, but the Josephine County district attorney's office
said the initiation stunt is under investigation.
Now, THIS YEAR'S WINNER:
(The late) John Pernicky and his friend, (the late) Sal Hawkins, of the
great state of Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica concert
at the George Washington amphitheater.
Having no tickets, but having had 18 beers between them, they thought it
would be easy to "climb" over the nine foot fence and sneak into the
show. So they pulled their pickup truck over to the fence and the plan
was for Mr. Pernicky, who was 100 pounds heavier than Mr. Hawkins) to go
over the fence and then assist his friend over.
Unfortunately, for (the late) Mr. Pernicky, there was a 30-foot drop on
the other side of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found
himself crashing through a tree. His fall was abruptly halted (and
broken, along with his arm) by a large branch that snagged him by his
shorts.
Dangling from the tree with a broken arm, he looked down and saw some
bushes below him. Possibly figuring the bushes would break his fall, he
removed his pocket knife and proceeded to cut away his shorts to free
himself from the tree. Finally free, Mr. Pernicky crashed into holly
bushes. The sharp leaves scratched his entire body and now, without any
protection of his shorts, a holly branch penetrated his rectum. To make
matters worse, on landing, his pocket knife penetrated his thigh.
Hawkins, seeing his friend in considerable pain and agony, threw him a
rope and tried to pull him to safety by tying the rope to the pickup
truck and slowly driving away.
However, in his drunken haste/state, he put the truck into reverse and
crashed through the fence.
Police arrived to find the crashed pickup with its driver thrown 100
feet from the truck and dead at the scene from massive internal
injuries. Upon moving the truck, they found John under it half-naked,
scratches on his body, a holly stick in his rectum, a knife in his
thigh, and his shorts dangling from a tree branch 25 feet in the air.
Congratulations gentlemen, you win...
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