Stranded on a Desert Island

A pilot who, in weaker moments, aspired to be a geologist, finally splurged on a cruise to the Caribbean. It was the "craziest" thing he had ever done in his life.

Just as he was beginning to enjoy himself, a hurricane roared upon the huge ship, capsizing it like a child's toy. Somehow, desperately hanging on to a life preserver, he managed to wash ashore on a secluded island.

Outside of beautiful scenery, a spring-fed pool, bananas and coconuts, there was little else. He lost all hope and for hours on end, sat under the same palm tree. One day, after several months had passed, a gorgeous woman in a small rowboat appeared.

"I'm from the other side of the island," she said. "Were you on the cruise ship, too?".

"Yes, I was, " he answered. "But where did you get that rowboat?".

"Well, I whittled the oars from gum tree branches, wove the reinforced gunnel from palm branches, and made the keel and stern from an Eucalyptus tree.". "But, what did you use for tools?" he asked.

"There was a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed on the south side of the island. I discovered that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. Anyhow, that's how I got the tools. But, enough of that," she said. "Where have you been living all this time? I don't see any shelter." .

"To be honest, I've just been sleeping on the beach," he said.

"Would you like to come to my place?" she asked.

The guy nodded dumbly. She expertly rowed them around to her side of the island, and tied up the boat with a handsome strand of hand-woven hemp topped with a neat back splice. They walked up a winding stone walk she had laid, and around a palm tree. There stood an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. "It's not much, but I call it home." Inside, she said, "Sit down please; would you like to have a drink?".

"No, thanks," he said. "One more coconut juice and I'll throw up!" .

"It won't be coconut juice," she replied. "I have a crude still out back, so we can have authentic Pina Coladas." .

Trying to hide his amazement, he accepted the drink, and they sat down on her couch to talk. After they had exchanged stories, she asked, "Tell me, have you always had a beard?" "No," he replied, "I was clean shaven all of my life until I ended up on this island.".

"Well if you'd like to shave, there's a razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet." No longer questioning anything he went upstairs to the bathroom and shaved with an intricate bone-and-shell device honed razor sharp.

Next he showered - not even attempting to fathom a guess as to how she managed to get warm water into the bathroom - and went back downstairs.

"You look great," she purred, "I think I'll go up and slip into something more comfortable." As she did, he continued to sip his Pina Colada. After a short time, smelling faintly of gardenias, she returned wearing a revealing gown fashioned out of pounded palm fronds. "Tell me," she asked, "we've both been out here for a very long time with no companionship. You know what I mean. Have you been lonely? Is there anything that you, well, really, really miss? Something that all men and women need? Something that would be really nice to have right now!" . "Yes there is!" he replied, shucking off his shyness. "There is something I've wanted to do for so long. But on this island all alone, it was just, well, it was impossible." .

"Well, it's not impossible, any more," she breathed as she began loosening the palm fronds.

Then, panting in excitement, leaped to his feet and cried "You mean you actually figured out some way we can check our e-mail here?"

Ya'll come back now, ya here...