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Q: What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians?
A: A drummer.
Q: What's the definition of a half-tone?
A: Two fretless bass players playing in unison.
Q: What's the world's greatest optimist?
A: A banjo player with a pager.
Q: How do you get a guitar player to stop playing?
A: Put some sheet music in front of him.
Q: What do you call two guitar players reading off the same chart?
A: Counterpoint.
Q: Why do bagpipe players walk while they play?
A: To get away from the sound.
Q: What's the difference between a trombone player and a dead armadillo in the road?
A: The armadillo was on his way to a gig.
Q: What's the difference between a drummer and a bass player?
A: About half a beat.
Q: How do you know when a drummer's at the door?
A: The knocking speeds up.
Q: How do you know when a singer's at the door?
A: They don't know when to come in and can't find the key.
Q: What's the definition of perfect pitch?
A: Tossing an accordian into the toilet without hitting the rim.
Q: What's the definition of a gentleman?
A: Someone who knows how to play the oboe but doesn't.
Q: What's the difference between a musician and a bond?
A: Eventually a bond matures and earns money.
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Ya'll come back now, ya here...
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