You're Not A Kid Anymore When...

Your back goes out more than you do

You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room

You buy a compass for the dash of your car.

Your are proud of your lawn mower.

You call Olan Mills before they call you.

Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.

You sing along with the elevator music.

You would rather go to work than stay home sick.

You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.

You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

You make an appointment to see the dentist

You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you ?"

You have a dream about prunes.

You answer a question with, "Because I said so!"

You send money to PBS.

You still buy records, and you think a CD is a certificate of deposit.

The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.

You take a metal detector to the beach.

You wear black socks with sandals.

You know what the word "equity" means.

You can't remember the last time you lay on the floor to watch television.

Your ears are hairier than your head.

You get into a heated argument about pension plans

You got cable for the weather channel.

You have a party, and the neighbors don't even realize it.

Ya'll come back now, ya here...