How to Pick Up Women

Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.

The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night

That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.

My name's [your name]. That's so you know what to scream.

My name's [your name], but you can call me "lover."

Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?

Do you have a mirror in your pants? [No, why?] Because I can see myself down there.

I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

Can I borrow a quarter? [What for?] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her.

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.

Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?

Can I flirt with you?

Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.

[Look at his/her shirt label. When they say, "What are you doing?":] Checking to see if you were made in heaven. OR: Checking to see if you're the right size.

All those curves, and me with no brakes.

If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

Fuck me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?

I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.

[Grab his/her tush.] Pardon me, is this seat taken?

Is it hot in here or is it just you?

Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?

Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.

I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?

So... How am I doin'?

How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?

[Tap your thigh] You just think this is my leg.

Do you sleep on your stomach? [No] Can I?

You must be a daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right
here

Just call me milk cause I'll do your body good

Your body's name must be Visa, cause it's everywhere I want to be.

Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

I may not be Fred Flinstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock.

I'd like to screw your brains out....But apparently someone beat me to it.

What kind of clothes do you have on, Windex? Because i can see myself in your
pants.

You may not be impressed with me right now but you notice I'm the only one
talking to you.

Excuse me I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a big breasted bed thrasher,
have you seen one?

You want to play house? You be the screen door and I'll slam you all night
long.

If you're going to regret this in the morning we can sleep until the
afternoon.

Oh exuse me I thought that was a braille name tag.

You may not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch
away.

You must be Jamaican, cause you're Jamaican me crazy.

So what time do I wake you up in the morning?

If you were blue and I was yellow, my favorite color would be green.

Was your dad a theif? No. Then who stole the stars from the sky and put them
in your eyes?

Baby do you know cpr? because everytime I see you my heart stops.

You are as beautiful as the venus de milo...except for the arms.

Are those erasers in your bra or are you just happy to see me?

If I had the power to creat the perfect woman, I'd leave you just the way you
are.

Did you spill your drink on me or did i wet myself?

I could poke your eye out from here.

If that doesn't work I try this...hey baby I'm a missionary and I'm looking
for a position.

Ya'll come back now, ya here...