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When you're sending someone Styrofoam, what do you pack it
in?
How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before
getting out of the water?
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
What's another word for synonym?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill
himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
When sign makers go on strike, what is written on their
picket signs?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book
publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
How can there be self-help groups?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you
can't drink and drive?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is
prohibited there?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, its
called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship,
its called cargo?
Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Where are Preparations A through G?
If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?
When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to
throw the top one away?
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he
wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
What happened to the first 6 "ups"?
If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a
lemon called a yellow?
Why does your nose run, and your feet smell?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come
from?
My school colors were "clear".
I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me
a wake-up letter.
I'm taking Lamaze classes. I'm not having a baby, I'm just
having trouble breathing.
My girlfriend is weird. She asked me, "If you could know
how and when you were going to die, would you want to know?"
I said,"No". she said, "Okay, then forget it."
I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was
going to be gone. I said, "The whole time."
Hermits have no peer pressure.
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many
memories...
There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the
shore like an idiot..
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't live
there?
The other day I went to a tourist information booth and
asked, "Tell me about some of the people who were here last
year."
What a nice night for an evening.
When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my
girlfriend's Dad. He said, "I want my daughter back by
8:15." I said, "The middle of August? Cool!"
Did Washington just flash a quarter for his ID?
I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live
above me are furious.
I live on a one-way dead-end street.
It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always
room temperature.
Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out.
I was hitchhiking the other day and a hearse stopped. I
said, "No thanks-I'm not going that far."
I played a blank tape on full volume. The mime who lives
next door complained.
Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
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